Fifty Shades to Forgive
by sazdestar
Summary: What happens when Ana reacts differently to Christian walking out on her after he finds out she's pregnant? When Ana finds the text message on Christians phone from none other than Mrs. Robinson, will she forgive her husband or will she make him fight for her? In the end what will happen to their relationship as they come across more problems.. including Jack Hyde.
1. Anger and Frustration

**Hey guys I wasn't too sure about this story so please let me know what you think! I just thought this was a different route that the character could have taken! Thanks guys! **

**I don't own anything from the 50 shades trilogy!**

This is the scene where Christian has come home drunk after finding out that Ana is pregnant and where Ana finds Mrs. Robinsons text to Christian. Enjoy!

**Fifty Shades to Forgive**

I stare at the screen, fury building within me. I can't believe he has done this to me... again. Once again he has run right back into her arms when the going gets tough. I feel like I'm about to combust with emotions. I want to scream, cry and laugh all at the same time. I settle for crying. As the salty tears reach the corner of my mouth I glance back down at the screen

*It was good to see you. I understand now.

Don't fret. You'll make a wonderful father*

I know that me being pregnant is a shock but to run back to her is the ultimate betrayal. I look up at Christian who has passed out on the bed, my beautiful fifty shades, why would you do this? I was ready to forgive him for walking out, for leaving me during a time when I needed him the most but now... I don't know how I'm going to forgive him. God only knows what they did together. Did he re-visit her version of the red room of pain? The thought makes me feel light-headed and I fall to my knees gasping for air. I still love him, but how could I stay with a man that would cheat on me... if he did. Maybe they just talked? Even so, I am furious that he would reveal such a personal situation between me and him to _her. _I hate him right now, he didn't feel he could talk to me about it? So he ran to that sick peado, if he thinks that I'm just going to sit back and let him away with this he has really underestimated Anastasia Steele.

Looking up at him again, I want none of him. He chose tonight. He chose to go running back to his past when his future was sitting at his breakfast bar, willing to accept him and his fifty shades of fucked- upness. Well not any longer, it's not just me I have to think about now it's our baby too, and I will not stand around and accept a life where we come second. She can have him now for all I care, I can raise this baby on my own if I have to. Fuck him and fuck Mrs. Robinson.

I run into our closet and spot Christians gym bag, I empty the contents onto the floor and start throwing my clothes into it. The fury within me is building and building. My palms are beginning to sweat and my hands are shaking with rage. I've never been this mad before and never thought I would be, least of all with Christian. I run into the bathroom and gather my toothbrush, hairbrush and make-up bag. How could he do this? He has ruined us. If he wants a life with me now he's going to have to fight and I mean fight. I've left him once before but not like this. I took him back with the promise that he would love and protect me; little did I know that the one person I needed protection from was him.

I walk back into the closet and pick out an outfit for work tomorrow and the next day. With that I zip up the gym bag and head for the door. I glance back at him, he hasn't even stirred he's that pissed. I feel as if my life within a matter of seconds has come crashing down before me. I feel the tears collecting in my eyes and scold myself. Hold your ground Ana, he is at fault here, _he_ went to see her, he betrayed you by doing god knows what with her, _he _left _you_. Before leaving I grab his phone and pull mine out of my purse and type down that bitch's number, I throw his phone on the bed beside him leaving the message open on the screen.

I close the door slowly behind me until I hear the faint click. I let out a deep breath that I didn't realise I was holding. What do I do now? The sudden pang of loneliness hits and I'm tempted to run back into the room and hold him... but I don't. I'm suddenly walking towards the utility closet which holds all the spare keys. I can't leave now... Taylor or Sawyer are probably watching the CCTV cameras and insist they come with me. I don't want him to know where I am. I pick out the keys for the playroom and head there.

The scent of leather hits me like a punch in the face. The pang of loneliness returns, we had happy memories in here but now all I can think of is his betrayal and how I miss him already in spite of everything. I succumb to tears once again whilst I lock the door from the inside out. I pull the large duvet from the bed and wrap it around me. I land on the couch and this is where the real heart wrenching painful tears begin to fall. I finally begin to calm down and turn my phone on silent; I lay down staring up at the ceiling. I place my hand over my now flat stomach "Mommy will never leave you" I whisper to my little blip and somewhere in the darkness sleep takes over me.

I wake with a jolt gasping for air, I try to take in my surroundings, and I'm in the playroom. The memories from last night come flooding back and once again I am angry. I pick up my blackberry to check the time 08:15, FUCK! I also notice that I have 5 new missed calls. I wonder who from? Sarcasm dripping from my thoughts. I check my voice mail and they are from Christian and Kate. Shit! I didn't think that he'd ring her. There's a light tap at the door whilst someone tries to turn the handle, my head whips round in the direction of the voice.

"Ana? Ana are you in there?" he says quietly, I would recognise that voice anywhere. I stand ready to run if he comes through the door but luckily he doesn't. I tip toe over to the door and press my ear against it to hear the harsh whispers between Christian and who I can only assume is Taylor.

"She's not in there" he says with a hint of pain in his voice. "We need to find her" he says with more force. Taylor responds with a dutiful "Yes, Sir". I always knew that Taylor would side with Christian but even so it still hurts that I'll be left with no-one while he has them all. I hear their faint footsteps as they head into the great room.

I look at myself in the mirror; I look at my gaunt face and swollen eyes from all the crying. You can do this Ana. I pinch my cheeks to add a bit of colour and then grab the gym bag and my high heeled stilettos. I unlock the door and peek out to find no-one there, thank god; I don't even want to look at him. I head toward the foyer door and hear Christian barking orders at the security team

"FIND HER!, she should never have gotten out of here in the first place without you all knowing, you're all lucky I don't fire you all here and now!" he screams.

I jump a little with surprise; he raised his voice last night but not like that. Stop Ana, they'll catch you listening. I quietly open the foyer door and tip-toe out to the elevator closing the door slightly behind me. I press the call button and pray to myself that no-one hears the ping of the elevator. My nerves are twisting within my stomach.

_Ping!_

Holy shit! This is it... I rush into the vacant elevator too nervous to turn around, the elevator doors are half closed when I hear the foyer door slam open. I squeeze my eyes shut, my back still to the foyer.

"ANA!" I hear him yell. Tears bubble in my eyes and I turn slightly to look at him. Desperation is in his eyes, a surge of guilt flows through me and then the elevator door shuts behind me and I'm descending to the underground car park. Now is the time to think of a plan, seriously, what the _hell _am I going to do!


	2. Hiding

**Hey guys! Thanks for all the feedback, it's given me the motivation to carry on with the story! I hope you enjoy this chapter, please R & R! Feedback is great motivation..!**

**I do not own anything from the Fifty Shades Trilogy.**

**Fifty Shades to Forgive- Chapter 2**

The ride down to the parking lot is unbearable. I know for a fact that as soon as the elevator doors had closed Christian was yelling at everyone to bring me back, despite what I want of course! I just need some time to myself, he needs to let me be angry for once and not to distract me by sex. To see the sadness in his eyes from the elevator was tear- jerking but... I can't feel guilty, if I feel guilty I will cave and let him away with what he has done and this time I can't let him win.

I watch as the elevator doors open... No-one is there which means I have about 3 minutes until the security team come barrelling down to stop me. I almost run to my car, I choose the white R8 Christian gave me for my birthday, such good memories and yet so much has changed. My husband left me to be with another woman last night. That thought is like a knife digging and twisting in my stomach. I feel nauseous. What type of man seeks solace from his pregnant wife with a molester? I will never be able to understand the "relationship" that Christian holds with her. After his birthday I hoped he had cut all ties with her but obviously I have been the fool in this whole marriage. What if he has been seeing her this whole time? She's probably laughing at me right now. Tears slip from eyes, why did I marry him so quickly, and now... I'm pregnant with his baby, she would be right to laugh at me I am such an utter idiot. When I entered this marriage I chose to believe in him and yet last night that was thrown back in my face. Even if he saw her for the first time since his birthday last night, he still knew that I would be hurt and yet he did it anyway. He has such a double standard.

I snap myself back to reality and haul myself into the car throwing the gym bag into the back seat. I turn on the ignition and screech towards the gate. When I glance back I can see Sawyer and Taylor bursting through an emergency exit door and running towards the Audi. I start to panic, the gate rises and I shoot forward flooring the gas. I glance in the mirror and the Audi is nowhere to be seen, even so I keep my foot down. I don't trust that Taylor wouldn't find me. I need to think of a plan that will throw them. I see a parking lot up towards the right of this street and quickly pull into it. I find the easiest possible space and glide into it... I'm still a bit shaky when it comes to parking. I hurriedly pull my phone out and call work.

"Hello, Anastasia Grey's office , Hannah speaking" Hannah picks up on the 3rd ring.

"Hannah, hi it's Ana, I'm just calling to let you know I probably won't be in until lunchtime, ok?" I speak quickly.

"Ana, Hi! Ok don't worry I'll let Elizabeth and Roach know... Everything ok?" she asks with concern, she is such a nice girl, I must give her a raise.

"Everything is fine, I'm just not feeling that great, Um... Do I have any messages?" I ask hesitantly

"Yes quite a few Ana, They're all from your husband... You sure everything is ok?-" she's cut off from which sounds like a lot of fuss in the background. _Oh shit! Shit shit shit shit! _Christian has probably arrived looking for me. I hear Hannah talking in the background:

"I'm sorry but Mrs Grey isn't in the office at the moment, can I help you with anything". She sounds very professional and clipped, she obviously figures something is up.

"Hannah please I'm not stupid I would like to speak with my wife immediately" I hear his soft but almost frightening voice. I feel sorry for Hannah right at this moment.

"Like I said, Mr. Grey, Mrs Grey has not come into the office yet this morning, I would suggest you try her on her cell phone" she replies with sheer politeness.

"I've been trying her on her fucking cell but she's not answering my fucking calls!" he snarls at her.

She's back on the line "Hi, I'm very sorry but would it be possible if I could ring you back, we seem to be having a slight issue here at the office" Hannah discreetly explains down the phone.

"I'm so sorry Hannah, I'll let you go and I'll see you at lunchtime! Bye" I reply. Before I hang up I hear him.

"Is that her? Give me the phone"... "Ana?, Ana where are you I nee"- I hung up. Fuck him! The memories of what he said before he left last night come swooping back into my mind. Thinking that I would get pregnant on purpose! Asshole!

I run out of the parking lot and run towards the nearest Cash machine. I take out my Amex card and withdraw $2000. It's not like he can't afford it I argue with myself. I head for the Fairmount Olympic hotel where Christian and I once stayed. The walk gives me time to soak in all that has happened, after about 6 blocks I start to realise that I'm on my own now. I can't even confide in Kate, he has already contacted her. With that I pull out my Blackberry and check her voicemail. I don't want to speak to Christian let alone hear his voice telling me that I'm being a child and that we need to talk, well right now I don't feel like talking, kind of how he felt last night! But oh wait! He did feel like talking... but not with me! With that bitch Mrs. Robinson. Kate's urgent voice interrupts my ranting.

"Ana? Where the hell are you? Christian has been calling me all morning wondering if you called me! What has the creepy bastard done to you? Has he hit you? Call me Ana, I'm getting really worried about you!" The phone goes silent. I can't face calling her right now. I continue walking and come to the conclusion that I seriously need time to calm down, my fury is bubbling under my skin and it's hardly healthy for little blip for me to be this stressed.

I enter the main lobby of the Fairmount Olympic Hotel and head to the reception desk. I'm greeted by an over friendly woman with long lavish brown hair held back in a tight bun. She has light blue eyes which are covered with a harsh amount of black eye-liner.

"Hello, my name is Natalie, how can I help you?" she asks with pure politeness.

"Hi Natalie, I wish to book two rooms for a week please, I will be paying for one with my card and the other in cash, if they were next door to each other that would be great" I reply with equal politeness.

" That's perfect and your name pleases Ma'am" she seems a bit irritated.

"For the room that is being charged on my card, its Anastasia Grey, for the room in cash its Carla Adams" I reply. She looks confused, I think it's finally clicked with Natalie who my husband is.

"Of course Mrs Grey, will your husband be joining you? He tends to request our top suite" she asks her mood lighting up half a step.

"No Natalie my husband will not be joining me and I wish to request that he not know what rooms I am staying in, and I would just like 2 standard rooms thank you". I reply curtly.

"Ok Mrs Grey, just give me two seconds, Room 202 has been charged on your card and room 201 for Carla will be paid for in cash. That will be $1554" I hand her the cash, and suddenly remember that he can track my cell... _Fuck!_ Natalie hands me the room keys and calls over the bellboy.

"Natalie, you don't by any chance have lockers for rooms do you?" she eyes me curiously

"Yes Mrs Grey, your room key will open your safety deposit box, they are just to your left" she smiles

"Thank you Natalie, oh would you please let me know if my husband is here, but please don't tell him where I am staying, I'll be in room 201" I ask a little too desperately. She eyes me with a shocked expression, after what seems like hours she smile and nods.

"Thank you" I reply with flooded relief

"Enjoy your stay Mrs Grey" she smiles and nods.

I'm pretty sure that poor Natalie will not be able to keep the Anastasia Grey room to herself once my husband dazzles her and uses his charm. I head over to the lockers and check my blackberry, there are 2 text messages from Christian.

*Ana please call me back, we need to talk!*

*Please Ana*

I place the phone into the 202 locker and head to my room. I'm quite proud of myself that I thought of my plan. He may track me here but my room will be empty. Am I being too harsh? I chide myself. I know I will have to talk to him eventually, I just don't want to right now. I need time to think things through. When I enter the room I sink to the floor and the overwhelming emotion returns and I start to heave. I run to the bathroom and succumb to my morning sickness, I'm going to have to get used to it I suppose. I run myself a bath and gently sink into the hot delicious water. I rest my hand on my stomach and before I know it I'm asleep dreaming of grey eyes and the platinum blond hair of Mrs. Robinson.


	3. Comfort

**Hey guys! Thanks for all the reviews means I'll be motivated to write more! Let me know if the swearing is a bit too much for you guys I'm working on the next chapter as we speak but enjoy this one first Thanks!**

**I don't own anything from the 50 Shades Trilogy.**

**50 Shades to Forgive- Chapter 3**

I wake up with an awful groggy feeling, I didn't get much sleep last night and now I'm suffering from an urgent headache. This day is going so shit! All I want to do is go home to my bed and my husband. I miss him, I love him, but his love for me is not enough. Can I forgive him for what happened? Should I? I just don't know anymore. I begin to cry, in the last twelve hours I must have cried a waterfall, I really really miss him! I want to run into his strong loving hold and never leave, but then I remember that that hold is not so loving anymore, now that I have little blip. The thought is unsettling, as soon as I found out I was pregnant I loved this baby because it was _ours, _but Christian... he treated my pregnancy as a disease that was ready to kill a nation. It upsets me to think that he could hate our child, I push the thought out of my head and rise from the bath causing water to lap over the sides and slosh on the floor.

I walk back into the bedroom wrapped in a towel and sit on the bed. I'd love to just snuggle up here and never have to surface, I want to wallow in my grief. I glance at the clock on the bedside table and see that it has just turned midday. God how long was I asleep? I wish I had some Advil for this fucker of a headache. I just want to cry and for someone to comfort me. I want Kate's pink fluffy pyjamas and a tub of Ben and Jerry's, I want someone to listen to me rant and rave and sob. I reach towards the hotel phone and call the only person who will listen without any judgement. I call José.

'Hello?' José answers on the second ring, comfort pulsates through me when I hear his voice.

'Hi' I whisper.

'Ana? How are you? Where are you calling from, I don't recognise this number?' I can almost hear his grin, it makes me smile.

'I'm calling from a hotel room, I've been better José' I push out trying to hold my voice together.

'Ana... Is everything ok?' he asks with a hint of concern. This is my undoing, I begin to wail crying down the phone.

'Ssshhh Ana, Everything will be ok, please stop crying!' He pleads

'Oh José, everything is so fucked up! I don't know what to do anymore' I sob.

'Ana, what happened?' His stern voice surprises me but I begin to recite what happened.

'Wait!' he interrupts, 'You're Pregnant?' José asks, I forgot that I should probably be keeping this a secret, it's too early.

'Yes' I whisper. I hear him inhale sharply and then out of my surprise he begins to laugh. His laugh is so infectious that I too begin to laugh. It's a nice feeling.

'Congratulations Ana! That's great news!' he says. Fresh tears begin to prick my eyes. This is the reaction I hoped Christian would have had but to no avail. My sobs begin to escape me again.

'Wait until you hear the end of what happened, you'll be jumping up and down with glee' I say with sarcasm dripping from my voice.

'Oh sorry, Go on' he reply's, all humour gone from his voice.

I begin to rattle off about how I was afraid to tell Christian and how he reacted, How he left the apartment for hours, I couldn't get a hold of him, and that when he finally came home he was pissed drunk and had been to see her. I left out how she was a paedophile and that he used to be her submissive of course, I just told him it was an ex of his who had threatened me once before. José listened tentatively throughout my tell tale without interrupting. I ignored his indiscreet gasps when I told him the whole "getting pregnant on purpose" part and how that he went to see Mrs Robinson. I finally finish after what feels like an eternity and feel a sense of relief, it feels good to get this all off my chest, my anger has subsided substantially. José is silent. I wait for a reply but I get none.

'José? You still there?' I ask with confusion.

'I'll kill him for walking out on you Ana' his growl comes as a shock to me, I have only ever known José as the kind and gentle boy not this fierce protective_ man. _

'Do you know if he's done anything for definite with this Mrs. Robinson, Ana?' he asks with great force .

'No José, Like I said, I don't know what to do. I know I have to talk to him, but I just don't think it's a good idea right now' I explain.

'You definitely need to talk to him Ana, but on your own terms. Don't let him force himself at you, take the time you need to process everything and then when you're ready, go to him. Don't be the sucker Ana' he exclaims. José's pep talk has got me feeling a bit better.

'Thank you José, I knew you'd help me shine some light on this whole situation' I reply, tears beginning to surface once again.

'You're such a good friend to me' I add quickly trying to suppress a sob.

'Ana, don't get mad but why did you call me? Would you not usually call Kate?' I can hear a slight change in his voice, it sounds like he's upset. I've been such a horrible friend to him.

'Because José, I knew you would give me the advice I _need _to hear, not what I _want_ to hear' I explain with a smile and besides Kate would probably cave under Elliot's questioning and then tell Christian. José's mood seems to lighten but changes to seriousness in the space of a second.

'If he's cheated on you Ana I _will_ kill him, I should be halfway there by now after listening to all of that but I know that that would upset you. Remember Ana, I'm always here if you need someone, I always will be' He replies with no trace of humour.

'I know José, Thank you, I'll call you in a couple of days and let you know what's happened' I reply.

'Call me whenever you need me Ana, I miss you, you always have somewhere to go if you need to! And remember... Don't be a sucker! He reply's with a grin.

'Thanks José, and trust me, I won't be.' With that I hang up. My respect for José has risen even further. He is such a kind hearted guy it's hard to not like him. I glance at the clock and an hour has passed. I stand and make my way to the gym bag that was left at the door. I take out my high waisted grey suit pants and a light purple blouse and begin to get dressed.

When I take a look at myself in the mirror I feel a sense of guilt, I haven't eaten. It's not just me anymore I must remember. I pinch my cheeks and add a bit of mascara and head to the door. My hand is on the door knob when the hotel phone rings, I freeze. What if he's found me? If Natalie has told Christian about this room so help me god! I walk slowly towards the phone. Hesitating, I pick up.

'Hello?' I whisper

'Mrs Grey, this is Natalie at reception, I would just like you to know that there are two men here claiming they work for your husband. They've insisted that they wait in the lobby until you come down. They don't know your room number you see.' She whispers down the phone in a rush.

'Thanks Natalie, Do you have a back entrance to the hotel that I could leave through? I know this must sound very weird to you Natalie but quite frankly my husband maybe cheated on me last night and I don't particularly want to talk to him.' I don't know what came over me. My hand flies over my mouth, Christian will kill me for revealing such personal information about him and me.

'Oh... I'm very sorry Mrs Grey.' She takes a slight pause. 'I completely understand Mrs. Grey, I recently got divorced due to the same problem. If you go down to the 2nd floor I will arrange a person to meet you there and bring you to the service exit, I will get the two men cleared before you return ' she says matter of factly. I can't help but feel a surge of gratitude towards this woman.

'Thank you Natalie, I'll be down in 5 minutes. Oh and Natalie... I'm very sorry to hear about your divorce, Men are suck pricks sometimes!' I reply.

Yes Ma'am, they are' she laughs and hangs up.

When the elevator doors glide open I am greeted by a young man who looks irritated. He nods and signals for me to follow him. I'm kind of pissed that Taylor is downstairs, I wanted to check my cell before heading to work. Oh well I muse. I'm brought down emergency exit stairs down to the first floor. When we emerge we are beside a yet another door.

'If you go through this door Mrs Grey you'll be at the back of the hotel, You'll have to walk around to get back on the street.' He explains with a smile.

'Thank you, I can take it from here' I reply returning his smile, he blushes and suddenly I'm embarrassed.

I hurry out the door and around the back of the hotel to the main street. I walk towards my office which is about 4 blocks from the hotel. The whole way I find myself glancing behind me and across the streets, waiting for someone to catch me... it's an eerie feeling. I reach SIP's street and head to the deli and grab myself a sandwich and an apple. I head back and still in the street, what if he's up there, waiting for me? Oh Ana this is just ridiculous, even if he has betrayed you he's still your husband. You've proved to yourself and him that you are stronger than people think so just GO TO WORK! I decide my subconscious is right, I shouldn't be afraid, he's the one that should be shitting himself.

As I walk through SIP's main doors I'm greeted by Claire who has obviously heard about the commotion with Christian this morning. I give her a quick hello and she gives me a reassuring smile with just a hint of pity. I walk into my office and to my relief I find it surprisingly empty, I walk around my desk to the chair and sit pulling out my lunch. Hannah follows me in.

'Hi Hannah, I'm so sorry about Christian this morning' I say to Hannah.

'Don't worry about it Ana, I told him that you said you weren't coming in today and I think he bought it by the looks of things' she replies with a slight blush. I feel so bad putting her in the middle of this but she just doesn't understand what's happening.

'Christian and I had a bit of an argument last night and I don't particularly want to speak to him at the moment, thank you for this morning Hannah, it means a lot. You should take this afternoon off, I'm only going to be answering some e-mails and reading some manuscripts.' I glance down at my desk to find the stack of manuscripts that I left last week and never got round to doing with Ray being in hospital. Well no better time like the present, it'll take my mind off of everything.

'Ana, if you don't mind me saying this, Mr. Grey seemed very... sad this morning, I think he was truly worried about you. I could say the same thing about his security guys too, they seemed very flustered and concerned for your well-being, I'm sorry if I'm over stepping any lines but Ana if means anything to you, from the way Mr. Grey was this morning, he truly cares about you.' She says and shifts uncomfortably when she sees's tears brimming in my eyes. That may all be well and good Hannah but how does a man care if he's willing to leave you and his baby while he goes off drinking and what not with his ex- girlfriend.

'Thank you Hannah, Have a nice evening.' I sound irritated. I try to hide my face by reaching down to turn my computer on.

'Thank you Ana, I'll leave your messages on my desk.' And with that she is gone. I open up my emails to find I have 14 new emails in my inbox, 2 of which are from my actual job, the others are from Christian. I scan through them and they are pretty much all the same 'Please talk to me' 'I love you' 'Please stop running Ana' 'I'm sorry'. If you don't think you've done anything wrong than why are you sorry. The message that eats deep inside my heart is the last one he sent.

**From**: Christian Grey

**Subject**: Please...

**Date**: September 14 2011 12:34

**To**: Anastasia Steele

Please come back to me, I need you.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

I just don't know what to do. I bury my head in my hands and start to cry again. I love him but... is it enough anymore?


	4. Confrontation

**Hey guys! Thanks for all the reviews! I hope you like this chapter, thought I'd give you guys a little twist! Let me know what you guys think **

**I don't own anything from the Fifty Shades Trilogy.**

50 Shades to Forgive- Chapter 4

I chide myself. Ana stop with the crying you're at work for Christ sake! I pull myself together in spite of that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Have I lost him? By taking this space am I making him believe that I'm never coming back? If he feels like that then, did he ever truly believe that I loved him? My heads starts swirling, the whole point of me getting away from him was to get space and calm down yet I can't seem to get my mind off of him. I love him, I still do but clearly he has no respect for my love if he is willing to leave and run into her hands, it's already obvious that he has no love for this baby, but, I thought that maybe he had a bit more for me. Clearly I was wrong. I close down my email and pick up a manuscript and flip it open. It's going to be a long evening.

By the time I put the 2nd manuscript down it's already half five, I wonder what Christian is doing, Stop Ana! He left you first remember! I shake my head. I pick up the next manuscript and dive in yellow highlighter in hand. It's nice to catch my breath after the last couple of days, my mind is really boggled at the moment and it's refreshing to get my thoughts in order and besides at least by catching up on this work I won't have Roach breathing down my neck.

When I finally decide that it's time to call it quits its dark outside. Shit! What time is it? I glance at the clock on my computer and it's eight thirty. I quickly shut down my computer and gather my things, on my way out of the office I notice the messages on Hannah's desk. I glance through them and notice that Christian has never mentioned the fact that he's sorry for going to see her. Does he realise that that part is the most hurtful, not only did he leave but he went to her, the woman who has had it out for me since I've been with Christian. Does he not know that I saw the message on his cell, he was that drunk he probably thought he opened it before he went to sleep. I thought Christian was smarter than that to be quite honest. This is ridiculous; he has to know that it's also because of that. I ponder the thought for a couple of seconds and then decide to disregard it, he'll figure it out eventually.

The crispness of the cold evening air is welcoming to my face. I head back in the direction of the hotel and go through everything in my head. We need to talk before it's too late to salvage our marriage, but, I don't want to go back for him to just shrug everything off as if it doesn't matter. I want him to listen to me, if he doesn't want this child he can't have me either. Even though there will be no other man for me, I have to face the possibility of loneliness, but I won't be alone I'll have little blip. I finally have my answer, this baby is not going anywhere, it's just a matter of will its father be around. It saddens me to think that my child could live a life with no father like me, I always had my mother and I had Ray but I never truly had my father. I had a good childhood, I had Ray after all, I just hope that I can be enough alone if Christian doesn't step up.

I find myself outside a bar and head in, even though I can't drink, the hustle and bustle of a crowded bar is comforting compared to the empty hotel room. I perch myself on a barstool and order a Sprite. If Christian has been unfaithful with Mrs. Robinson I need to figure out if I can forgive him. My love for Christian will never falter, he is my fifty shades, my husband, my true love but I won't be able to trust him. I think back to our honeymoon and how happy we were, there was no one to interfere with our relationship, it was just us and we were madly in love. The thought makes me feel a genuine smile spread across my face. The barman places my drink in front of me and I take a sip. I could make us work. I could get over the fact that he has been unfaithful for the sake of my marriage and my baby. Over time I will grow to trust him again even though I will never forget what he had done. I miss him, I miss his how safe I feel with him. My thoughts are interrupted by the barman.

'Sorry ma'am but the man from the end of the bar wanted me to give you this' he places a glass of white wine in front of me. I frown. I look across the bar and there is a man smiling back at me. On first glance I wouldn't have thought he was attractive but looking again he is quite handsome. His short blond hair is spiked up with an unnatural amount of gel. He has deep blue eyes and high cheek bones, immaculate white teeth and a lovely smile. He gets up and strolls over to me, He is wearing a grey suit with a white shirt that has the first two buttons open, I can see a little of his chest hair. My thoughts fly to Christian.

'Hi, I'm Ryan Thompson' his says whilst holding his hand for me to shake it.

'Ana' I simply reply taking his hand.

'It's a pleasure to meet you Ana, what brings you here tonight? Surely you should be home with the lucky man that has captured you heart' he grins. He's very smug. He reminds me of Christian when we first met at the interview, arrogant and smug. It makes me smile to think that when I had first met him that I would end up marrying the guy. He's still waiting for a reply.

'Yes, I should be shouldn't I Mr. Thompson' I reply not looking at him. I stare down at my knotted hands hoping for him to pick up that I don't want to talk to him.

'Well I'm very glad you aren't Mrs-'

'Grey' I retort.

'Mrs Grey' he replies finishing his sentence 'It means I have the pleasure of your company' he smiles with an appraising look as he looks me up and down. Thank god I wore trousers I think quickly. I take a gulp of my Sprite.

'Is wine not your drink? I can get you another' he looks like I'm his prey... It's uncomfortable being under his gaze. His smugness is getting a bit too much for me, Christian was never this bad.

'That won't be necessary, thank you' I snap. He looks at me with a shocked expression and it dawns on me that he has probably never been refused before. He smiles.

'Ok Ana, How about we move to a booth' he signals with a nod of his head over to the long line of secluded booths on the opposite side of the bar. 'It's a bit more private' he winks at me whilst placing one of his hands on my knee. I jump off my barstool.

'No thank you Mr. Thompson, I don't think my husband would be too pleased if that were to happen' I snap irritably, as I look straight into his eyes. His eyes widen fractionally.

'Mrs Grey, your husband is not here to tell you what to do, I only wanted to chat but I think you have a very dirty mind, I like that in a woman' he reply's with a sly grin. What? This guy expects me to cheat on my husband because I'm here on my own. He starts to pull at his wallet and pulls out a card and hands it to me. Taking the card I glance at it:

Ryan Thompson

Thompson & Thompson Legal Firm

555-0154

'Maybe not tonight, but, soon I hope' he winks once again leaning in he gives me a swift kiss on the cheek. I feel as if someone has just shot me in the stomach, this is not my husband, he shouldn't be touching me like this. With that I grab my bag and stalk towards the door, I glance back and he's standing leaning against the bar, looking at me with a smile. When I'm outside I start to run, I need my husband.

I stop in the middle of the street to take off my shoes and head towards Escala. I don't care if he's been up to no good, I need him, I love him. I run and run. I stop across from Escala bending over with my hands over my knees to catch my breath. This position reminds me of after José's show when Christian pulled me into the alleyway. That kiss was so longing and passionate... I need him. Sitting down on an abandoned bench I place my shoes back on thinking of how silly I've been. Why did I run? Why was I so angry? I never gave him time to explain himself, he could have gone to a bar like me and she could have just happened to be there. Maybe that's why he kept saying that we needed to talk. I should have given the benefit of the doubt. I kept thinking of the bad outcomes when I should have at least given him time to talk to me. Maybe I am a fool for just giving in but he's my husband.

I stand and walk hurriedly across the street and into the reception of Escala. This is my home, my home with Christian. I feel a surge of excitement or nervousness' I can't quite make it out' but I don't care, I'm going to see him. I skip over to elevator and press the call button. When the elevator arrives I hop into it with almost too much eagerness, I punch in our apartment number and the elevator begins to rise.

The elevator opens out into the foyer, it feels like years since I've been here, so much has happened in the space of a day and now I'm ready to finish with arguing and get back to our life together with our new baby. I take a step forward so I'm standing in the middle of the dark foyer. It's silent. I walk over to the door and carefully open it, it's so silent I feel like I almost have to whisper. I close the door behind me and walk towards the great room. I'm stilled. I can hear him talking. Is he talking to himself? Taylor? I walk a little closer and stop, trying to listen.

'What have I done? I've ruined the only good thing in my life' he sounds like he is in so much pain, my heart lurches and I want to run to him. I stand frozen when I hear the reply.

'Christian sshhh! She doesn't deserve you if she is going to do this' Mrs Robinson answers Christian.

I feel nauseous, she's here in my house with my husband, alone. I was right all along. Why didn't I listen to my gut? Once again I'm here, hurt by my husband. Adrenaline takes over and I quietly walk into the great room. Their backs are to me. Christian is sitting on one of the barstools with his face in his hands, Mrs. Robinson is beside him, her hand on his shoulder rubbing gently. I feel the anger bubbling inside of me.

'I can't find her Elena, she won't answer my calls, I think I've lost her, I don't know what to do... I shouldn't have left last night' he says with a sob escaping his throat. My heart is in my mouth. Mrs. Robinson scoots further towards him and places her lips to his cheek. I gasp, how dare she touch my husband. My gasp obviously didn't go unnoticed as both their heads dart in my direction. Christian is gazing at me with a sense of relief but I can't pull my eyes away from her hands on him, my eyes widen with utter shock, how could he do this? He stands realising what I was staring at.

'Ana' he breathes.


	5. Leaving

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**I don't own anything from the Fifty Shades Trilogy **

**50 Shades to Forgive- Chapter 5**

We stare at each other in silence. I want to run, run from this room and never come back, but I'm stilled in my place. Christian doesn't move he just gazes at me. Mrs Robinson is staring me right in the eye, obviously caught red handed she seems uncomfortable, her blond hair immaculate as ever. Looking at her it makes me feel subconscious, why wouldn't he cheat on me with this woman, she is beautiful, she would be the person that could stand beside Christian and look... normal. I glance at my reflection in the windows leading out onto the balcony. Look at me, I don't compare to her in the slightest. What did he ever see in me? when he could have her. I glance back to Mrs. Robinson and she has a slight grin on her face, I want to slap her so hard it's unbelievable. My gaze turns to Christian and he looks... intoxicating. I have to get out of here, I feel as if I'm intruding in my own home. I turn towards the foyer adrenaline spiking within my body.

'Ana, please don't leave' Christian pleads, I've never heard him like this, not even after the Leila incidence. He's been crying, a rare occurrence with Christian. I turn back and gaze at him.

'I'm obviously interrupting some romantic reunion between the two of you, something I'd rather not have to endure so yes Christian I'm leaving' I spit at him.

'Ana' I whip my head around to the sound of Mrs. Robinson's voice. She seems calm, like she's talking to a child.

'I think you've got the wrong idea, Christian and I were just talking about last night, nothing is happening between us' she explains, treating me like some animal backed into the corner being coaxed out.

'So talking involves touching my husband and kissing him on the cheek?' I shriek with a shocked expression spread across my face. I turn to Christian, his eyes haven't left my face, I look at him expecting some sort of explanation but nothing comes.

'Ana, Christian has been tormented the last couple of hours trying to find you and talk to you about your situation, I was only trying to be a source of comfort for him, I'm sorry if you got the wrong idea' her voice hardens as if she's tempting me to argue. Fuck this bitch! Why am I always the bad guy? Why do I get the blame for this? He's the one that pissed off, not me, he's the one that accused me of getting pregnant on purpose and yet I'm the bitch because poor Christian is upset for being such an utter shit?

'I'm sorry, your right Elena, I'm just such a bitch, a gold-digging bitch to be quite frank, I really don't deserve him, so I'm going to go and let you two get back to whatever you were doing.' I snap, Mrs. Robinson takes a step back as if I'm about to pounce on her. I look at Christian, he still hasn't uttered a word. Clearly he doesn't give a shit.

'Oh and Christian, don't forget to strap one on before you do any of your kinky fuckery, we don't want any babies running around here, don't we not' I spit at him and stalk towards the door.

I can't believe I said that, I'm in absolute shock that those words came out of my mouth, I couldn't control it, I was just way past angry. How dare she make me out to be the villain in this story and he just stands back and lets it happen. This man is not my husband, he is not the man I married. To think that I was willing to forget about what happened and just crawl back into his arms, I was pathetic, but not anymore.

I'm standing waiting for the elevator when I hear my name

'ANA! Ana please wait, don't go we need to talk about this, Please don't leave me' he grabs my arm. I look into his big grey eyes and see nothing but sadness, my heart lurches but I quickly control myself.

'You left me first Christian, and to top it all off you went to her, the one person you know would hurt me the most, I can't do this anymore Christian, I can't come second, we can't come second' I pause and place my hand flat on my stomach. Tears are over spilling from my eyes, I can't control it.

'Ana, I'm so sorry, I didn't intend on going to her, I just ended up outside the salon and she offered me a drink' he explains in almost a whisper.

'Did you sleep with her Christian?' I ask, my heart is pounding and my legs are about to buckle, I don't want to hear his answer but at the same time I do.

'Ana, I would never be unfaithful to you, I've tried telling you over and over again that Elena and I are over, but you won't believe me, I know why you don't and I don't expect you to believe me but Ana I love you and only you. No I didn't sleep with her' he stares down at me waiting for me to reply. I don't know what to say to him, I believe that he loves me but Mrs Robinson will never be out of his life. I will always have that feeling deep down that he is with her and they are both laughing at me. He's right, I don't trust him, I don't think I ever truly did. I married this man because I loved him and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him but it's not just spending my life with him it's spending my life with all his past submissives and Mrs. Robinson.

'I don't know what to do anymore Christian, I've stood by you through everything but I can't stand by anymore and let that woman ruin our marriage, why is she even here Christian? You had to have told her that I left this morning, you're never going to let her go and I'm not being that wife who lets her husband walk all over her, not when it comes to other women, how would you feel if the roles were reversed Christian, how would you feel if I had slept with Ryan Thompson tonight, it's not just me anymore' I reply through sobs breaking free from his grasp. He looks at me with a puzzled expression and then I see anger.

'Ryan Thompson?' he snaps. Oh shit! Fuck fuck fuck fuck, I seriously don't know why I open my mouth sometimes. I roll my eyes, and the thought of his twitching hand makes me giggle.

'I don't find a man asking my wife to have sex with him quite funny Ana' he snaps but I sense the amusement in his voice due to my eye rolling.

'I was just trying to explain how I feel Christian, even when I almost hate you I could never betray you, I love you too much for that, but every time something doesn't go your way you end up back with her, and that truly hurts Christian, you feel more comfortable talking to her then your own wife Christian, that's not how marriage works, maybe we went into this too fast-' I stop suddenly when the look of complete horror washes over his face my breathing hitches in my throat.

'You're leaving me?' he whispers. Oh Christian, I naw at my bottom lip trying to figure out what I'm going to say but I just don't know anymore. Before I can even open my mouth he's disappeared into the great room, is he coming back? I here hushed voices, he's talking to her. I stand at the elevator doors trying to listen to the conversation but they're too far away. All of a sudden he's back in front of me with Elena trailing behind him. I hear the familiar _Ping! _Of the elevator and Elena walks into it, I stare at her confused, she gives me a slight smile and the doors close. It feels like hours before Christian breaks the silence.

'She's gone Ana, I don't want to see her again if it means I lose you, last night I told her how I felt and how you felt about our relationship, she listened, for the first time listened and understood that you are my life now and there is nobody else and never will be, I don't know why she was even here tonight, she was waiting here when I got home from your apartment and she was... comforting. I knew I shouldn't of had her here and it was a bad move for her to be here but I missed you Ana, since I met you, you have always been there and I was... lonely and truly truly upset with myself. But she's gone now Ana, for good' I can see the force in his eyes, I want to believe him I really do but I can't bring myself to trust him. He was in my apartment? Oh shit! I have to call Kate.

'I don't trust you anymore Christian, after last night and how you reacted and now finding you and her together, I don't think I can stay' I can hear the shaking of my voice. I don't want to go but I have to.

'Ana, please don't go, I love you and only you' he grabs my face in his hand and kisses me forcefully, I'm stunned at his abrupt approach but his tongue makes the quenching feeling in the bottom of my stomach re appear. I love this man. I push him away.

'Stop Christian, I hate when you do that, I'm not leaving you Christian I just need space to think things through again, all your baggage has been thrown at me and I'm left to pick it all up, I love you Christian but I need to trust that you'll be there for me and the baby, I need to be sure about you before we make any decisions, tonight has been an eye-opener and I just need time. Time away from you' he looks like he has been stabbed in the heart with a dagger, I want to hold him and protect him but I can't. I press the call button and wait for the elevator.

'You're not leaving me?' he asks

'I don't know Christian, I just need a little time, I just think it's a good idea for me to stay here at the moment' I answer in a whisper. I lift my hand and brush my knuckles against his face, he leans into my touch and closes his eyes, I reach up and softly place a kiss on his lips savouring this touch. The elevator doors open and I walk into it.

'I love you Ana' he says gazing at me with torn grey eyes.

'I love you too Christian' I reply and then the doors shut.


	6. Revenge

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**I don't own anything from the Fifty Shades Trilogy.**

**Fifty Shades to Forgive- Chapter 6**

I feel tired. My legs feel as if they are about to buckle beneath my body, I need to sleep. My whole life in the space of a day has been turned upside down and I don't know how to deal with it. Just over a day ago I had a loving husband, a home and a baby, but now I have lost my loving husband. I never cared about his riches all I wanted was him and now I feel as if a piece of me has been left behind somewhere and I'm so desperate to find it again. It has been a lose lose situation, if I leave my husband I lose my home and him, If I pick my husband I lose my baby, why can't I just have them all, why must I have to suffer to feel complete, I sink to the bottom of the elevator with my arms wrapped around my knees. I just can't catch a break, Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I had never met Christian, If Kate had gone to that interview Christian may be happy with her right now instead of hating me for ruining his life with this baby. The thought makes me nauseous and I place my head on top of my folded arms, if I had never met Christian my life would be standing still as it always has, he is my light at the end of the tunnel and I'll be damned if I'm going to lose that to some paedophile!

The elevator doors swing open and I force myself to my feet, I walk out into the main reception of the building and walk through the revolving doors. The air is crisp and fresh outside, I stand still savouring it for a moment, it's peaceful and welcoming after the events that have unfolded tonight. My moment is interrupted by a person hovering behind me.

'Hi, Sawyer' I say without having to turn around.

'Mrs. Grey' he replies with a tinge of embarrassment. I knew Christian couldn't just leave me, I grin to myself, it's so like fifty to send security.

'I've been sent by Mr. Grey to accompany you' He says whilst his cheeks flush a slight pink. 'Would you like to go down to the underground parking lot? I could drive you to wherever you plan on staying' he says.

'After a day like this I think I'd prefer to walk Luke, if you don't mind' I answer defeated by his polite awkwardness. I feel very sorry for Christians security team, they have to obey him whether they like it or not and I can tell that Sawyer would prefer to be anywhere but here, I can sense his uncomfort, at least I have the power to fight back. Sawyer bounces from one foot to the other.

'I don't think Mr. Grey would agree with that Mrs. Grey' he replies quickly whilst the pink in his cheeks get brighter. I sigh.

'Look Sawyer, I know you're only doing your job but to be quite honest in the matter of a day I've found out I was pregnant, left by my husband, found out he went to visit his ex girlfriend, been hunted down by my husband and when I finally go back to him he's with her again so I'd prefer to walk and get my head around everything but If you're insisting that you drive then that's fine, I'll meet you at the Fairmount' I reply with slight hesitation he takes a quick sharp breath in and replies

'I'm very sorry Mrs Grey, if you'd prefer to walk that's fine but I'll have to accompany you'

'I assumed as much Sawyer' I grin at him and I can see his lips twitch with amusement.

I begin to walk and he waits until I'm 3 or 4 steps ahead of him, I think I'd actually prefer if he was walking beside me, I pull myself back into the now and concentrate on walking. Walking away from Christian had to be the hardest moment of my life, to see his face so torn was torture. The funny thing is, if he hadn't of had that bitch there we'd probably be having sex right now. I laugh at myself, that woman really does ruin everything, it's ridiculous. I wish I had my cell with me so I could ring Kate and let her know I'm ok. I'm actually kind of pissed with her for some reason, I think it's because if I had called her back this morning she would have ran and told Christian, when did that sudden friendship come about? God I'm so hormonal I'm angry with everyone that cares about me. I sigh in exasperation. What am I going to do with myself?

Walking feels like therapy to me, whenever I was younger and had a fight with my mom or husband number three (I barely ever fought with Ray, we were very much alike which is peculiar seeing as he's not my biological father.) I would always storm out of the house and walk for hours, I don't know what it is, maybe it's the peace and quiet or maybe it's the idea of, even for an hour or two, I'm running away from my problems and they can't harm me. I remember one night I left the house and didn't return until the following morning and had a welcome home party by the police and an angry Carla. I remember running to her and hugging her, I knew that from all the fuss she created that ultimately she cared about me and my well being and that's all I wanted to know. In hindsight, maybe that's why I ran away from Christian this morning, to see if he cared enough about me to create a fuss, and he did. If he didn't truly love me he would have just let me go but he made it hard. I think of myself as being somewhat cruel to him by running, it was only for self fulfilment that I did it, not because I was angry. I just wanted some indication that he loved me in spite of everything. He reacted so badly to the news about the baby that it was reassuring to know that he was worried about me and that he too cared for my well being. Is this what I'm doing now? Running away from him again? No, I don't think so, this morning I was angry and didn't want anything to do with him where as now... It's not a matter of whether I want to be with him or not it's whether or not I can trust him again. If he just lets Mrs Robinson waltz in and interfere with our relationship how many more of his ex- submissives will come along and create problems for us? I mean we've already had Leila and that was hard enough without another 14 women coming after me all due to Christian Grey. God, maybe I should book an appointment with Flynn.

An hour or so must have passed before I heard Sawyer cough behind me. It wasn't a normal cough it was one of those I'm-coughing-to-get-your-attention-because-I'm-to-embarrassed-to-talk coughs. I roll my eyes and turn to him.

'Is everything ok Luke?' I ask with a hint of concern in my voice.

'Ma'am we've been walking in the wrong direction for a long time now I was just wondering if you actually noticed or was it intentional' His cheeks turn red again. I look around and there's nothing familiar.

'Oh god I'm sorry, I didn't realise, do you know where we are?' I look at him with wide eyes. I can't believe I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts I didn't know where I was going. I almost want to thank Christian for sending Sawyer, I don't think I can even tell what direction the hotel is. I flush with embarrassment.

'It's ok Mrs Grey I know the way back to the hotel from here, it'll only be a couple of minutes.'

I sigh with gratitude. Thank god for Sawyer, anything could have happened to me if I was on my own, I shudder at the thought. Sawyer guides me by my arm in the direction of the hotel and this time he walks by my side. I feel uncomfortable with the silence.

'Sawyer, Can I ask you something?' I peek up at him with hesitation. He wasn't expecting this.

'Of course Mrs Grey' he replies nonchalantly

'This morning, when... you know... I wasn't there, did Christian... treat you guys badly' I couldn't just come out and ask him was Christian distraught, was he upset. Sawyer hesitates, he doesn't know whether he should tell me or not, god will I ever get a straight answer from any man? He eventually answers.

'Mrs. Grey, Mr. Grey was not himself this morning after you left, he was...' he doesn't know how to finish his sentence, god the tension is unbearable, I want to know!

'He missed you Mrs. Grey, he was very very worried about you and didn't know what to do, if you don't mind my interfering Mrs. Grey, but to be honest I think Mr. Grey very much cares about you and it would be a shame if you could not work out your problems together' he replies. I think my mouth is hanging open. I've never had a real conversation with this man and to hear him say all those things makes me believe him. He looks worried, as if he is about to get in trouble. I smile at him as reassurance.

'Thank you Sawyer, does Mr. Grey know we're walking?' I ask, he looks around trying to avoid my gaze, he's embarrassed and again worried. I wish this man felt a little more comfortable around me, he spends enough time with me as it is.

'No Mrs Grey' he replies

'Well Sawyer, I won't tell if you don't' I say with a grin and throw a wink at him hoping this will lighten the mood, he returns my smile and lets out a small laugh.

'Can I ask another question, if you don't mind?' I ask with hesitation.

'Ok Mrs Grey' he says with a slight nervousness.

'Do you have any children?' he stops and I mirror his action. Oh no! Too personal.

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to overstep the boundaries, please ignore my question' I quickly say to his horrified face. He begins to walk again and I follow. After a couple of minutes he breaks the ice.

'Mrs Grey, I'm sorry I didn't mean to startle you earlier, I wasn't expecting the question to be about me' he says

'No Sawyer, please don't apologise I was being rude and nosey, it's none of my business' I shake it off and continue to walk. I feel like an asshole I shouldn't have asked.

'Mrs Grey, two years ago my fiancé and I were expecting our first baby, only... I was at work one day, it was a month before Sarah my fiancé's due date so she was at the store stocking up on diapers when an armed man shot her, the police said she refused to give him her handbag. I lost them both that day.' Sawyer looks down at his feet. I'm in utter shock, here I am giving out about my husband when Sawyer was so unfortunate. I suddenly feel very bad for this man having to put up with Christian and me.

'I'm so sorry Sawyer, God you must hate Christian and I, having to listen to us both argue over petty things when you were so... unfortunate' his head snaps up, he looks horrified.

'No, Mrs Grey, Don't think like that, I took this job knowing the details, I only took this job because so I could protect someone else's wife when I couldn't protect my own. It's the least I can do' He smiles, I feel very bad for him but I focus in front me and continue to walk. I didn't think I'd get that much information about him, I always wondered why he was so closed off, I didn't think it was as tragic though.

I look around and notice that we are by Seattle's main Park. I know where we are now, the memories of Christian picking me up in the street after finding out that Leila got a gun license flood into my mind. I still. The Beauty Salon is around the corner. _Mrs. Robinson's_ beauty salon. She's probably there now. Can I confront her now? Fuck Yes! I walk briskly around the corner and see it. I'm on the opposite side of the road in the pitch black of the late evening. The lights are on and through the window I can see her. She's sitting in a clients chair facing the mirror, she is holding a bottle of whiskey and is chugging it down like there's no tomorrow. I stare at her or for a moment.

'Mrs. Grey, this isn't a good idea, we should go back to the hotel now' Sawyer says forcefully. I raise my hand to silence him and notice that the wall behind us has been knocked down. I walk over to the wall and pick up one of the bricks, it's quite heavy.

'Mrs. Grey I can't let you do this, Mr Grey will not be happy' Sawyer pleads. I know I shouldn't but it's just too easy, she's here and doesn't expect me, it's perfect. I didn't think that revenge was a trait I possessed but obviously I was wrong, this woman is going to get what's been waiting for her. I'm spiked with adrenaline, I hawl the brick at the Salon's window, the impact is immediate. Before I know it the window has smashed into oblivion, and Mrs Robinson is on her feet with shock. She's trembling. We lock gazes for two seconds before I turn to Sawyer.

'RUN!' I shout


	7. Regret

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**I don't own anything from the Fifty Shades Trilogy.**

**Fifty Shades to Forgive- Chapter 7**

I run as fast I can, my breathing is rapid and my heart is pumping for its life. I don't know what came over me, Christian is going to literally murder me and then Sawyer. Oh god I might have cost this man his job, after him revealing all that to me not a half an hour ago, Shit! I feel like a child knowing that they've done something terribly wrong and is guaranteed to get into trouble when they get home. Her face was utterly priceless though, she wasn't expecting me to fight back. Like everyone else, I'm sure she expected that Christian would just deal with it but I took matters into my own hands for once and it felt... liberating. I know that I shouldn't have done that, there are more mature ways in solving a problem but to be honest, I don't care. The power I felt was thrilling and it made me forget about my problems for that millisecond. Christian can stow away his twitching palm and let me enjoy this feeling for once. I don't think I'll ever have the courage to do something of the likes again but for that minute, Anastasia Grey was in control and she liked it.

I'm still running, I'm not even sure if Sawyer is following, I hope he is, I don't want him to have to deal with Elena. Especially after that, I'm pretty sure she's furious but I can't help but laugh. I stop running and fall to my knees, a cathartic laugh is escaping me and I'm finding it hard to breathe. Tears are stinging my eyes I'm laughing so hard, it feels nice to laugh after everything that's happened lately. Sawyer comes bustling around the corner and finds me on the ground.

'Jeez Ana, What the hell?' he says in exasperation, I can sense that he's angry with me. He's there standing above me waiting for a reply, I'm still laughing.

'I'm sorry Sawyer, I don't know what came over me' I splutter through giggles.

'Mr Grey is going to be furious, I should call him now and let him know what's happened.' He replies, I can tell he's nervous and that telling Christian is the last thing he wants to do. I stop laughing and scramble to my feet.

'Sawyer, I'm sure Mrs Lincoln has already told him, and besides it's not as if I'm not going to pay for the window, look I'll call Christian from the hotel and tell him myself' I explain, Sawyers brow furrows as if in deep contemplation on what to do.

'Mrs Grey, I could lose my job for this' he replies with sadness in his tone. I can't help but feel sorry for this man. I know what I did was wrong and I'm sure I'm going to pay for it from all angles, but it just happened.

'Look Sawyer, you can trust me on this, Mr. Grey is not going to fire you and besides if he does I'll hire you as a bodyguard or something, I'm sorry for what happened, it was a spur of the moment thing, it won't happen again' I say pleading with him in the hope that he won't call Christian. I don't think I'm ready to face him yet. Sawyer smiles a light hearted smile and points me in the direction of the hotel. I gladly walk.

It doesn't take long to get back to the hotel, the whole time I was thinking that I should write Mrs Lincoln an apology note or something, I shake the thought from my mind. I curse myself really, I've played right into her hands by doing that, she has every right to call Christian and bitch at him for what I've done. It felt good though to see her uncomfortable, maybe she didn't notice me, I contemplate this for a feeling of comfort. My subconscious shakes her head at me, of course she saw you, and I'm sure she's not going to let it go for quite some time. I sigh in exasperation and walk through yet another revolving door.

The main lobby is lit by grand Chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, I see Natalie at the reception desk and throw her a friendly smile. Does she ever sleep? I walk over to the lockers and open room 202 and retrieve my blackberry. I'm afraid to look at it, I know that he's going to be PISSED. I unlock my phone and as I guessed there are 13 missed calls and 5 new text messages. The text messages are from earlier today, there's one from Kate.

*Ana! For Fuck Sake call me!*

I cringe, oh God she's mad, is there anyone that's not mad at me. I text a quick reply.

*Hey! I'm so sorry! Will call you later, everything is fine*

I lie. I'm sure Christian has contacted everyone and told them that he's found me already. I check the missed calls and see there are a few from Kate, one from my mom and the rest from yours truly. I check the times and they're all from this morning and late this evening. This puzzles me, surely he would have tried to contact me and find out why I vandalised one of his businesses. I turn to Sawyer who is waiting patiently behind me.

'Has Mr. Grey called you at all since we left or since the... incident' I ask hesitating slightly. He looks confused and then it dawns on him that Christian hasn't called so... He doesn't know.

'No, Ma'am he hasn't' he says with a slight grin.

I'm confused, I thought for sure that Mrs Robinson would have called him to tell him what happened. Maybe she's still in shock or maybe... Christian meant what he said. Maybe she is out of our lives and she's doing this to let me know that he's being serious. I just can't imagine it being that realistic. She must have an ulterior motive. Maybe she's going back over there the thought makes me uneasy. I should really let him know what I've done. Once again I feel like a child admitting to her parents she's broken a vase or something.

'Where are you staying?' I ask Sawyer

'I'm instructed to stay here in the lobby until morning' he answers

'Ok, I'm glad it was you that was with me tonight Sawyer, if it were Taylor, I'm sure I'd have Christian yelling at me right about now.' I smile a shy smile 'Thank you again Sawyer, I'm staying in room 201, goodnight' I say. Sawyer's cheeks turn a dark pink and he nods.

I sit on the bed staring at the phone, maybe I could wait until the morning to let him know. _No! Man up Grey!_ My subconscious chides. I nervously find his number in the contacts list and press the call button. The wait is excruciating, I get his voicemail. He must have turned his cell off, he only ever does that when he's mad, Shit! I leave a message.

*Hey it's me, Call me when you get this, Bye*

What have I gotten myself into? I'm suddenly awake and alert. Sleep is the last thing on my mind, I'm too worried about his reaction. I call Kate, she picks up on the 3rd ring.

'Ana? Where the Fuck have you been? I've been so worried! You should have called me!' she nearly shouts down the phone.

'Hey, I'm sorry I was just... Oh Kate' I sob, seriously where are all these tears coming from.

'Hey' she croons 'What's wrong?'

'Everything, I just don't know what to do anymore Kate, Christian and I got into a fight, a big one' I emphasize on the word big.

'Ana, I presumed as much when at half eight this morning Christian Grey was calling me wondering where you were' she says sarcasm dripping from her voice, it makes me grin.

'Sorry about that, he's just controlling sometimes' I reply a little embarrassed.

'Ana, he sounded so desperate on the phone, he was really worried and that made me worry even more! You should have called me! Chides Kate. I feel a pang of guilt, I should have called her, I just needed some time to myself.

'I know I know, I'm sorry Kate, I was just pre occupied with everything' I reply.

'God the whole family was so worried, Grace was nearly in tears! We were going to send out a search party if you didn't come back soon' she exclaims. What! Grace and everyone knew? God he really was worried. I must call Grace and apologise, I feel terrible.

'I didn't realise he let everyone know! I feel awful' I reply with a shocked tinge to my voice.

'He was worried sick Ana, I've never seen him like that, I think Grace was more upset at the thought of you leaving her son, she adores you, says you make such a difference with Christian' Kate replies. Grace has always said those things about me but I never really believed her. Maybe all my problems with Christian are because of the doubt I have in myself and not with my husband. It was wrong of me to put everyone through that.

'Kate I'm sorry I had you worrying, I'm fine and I'm alive' I say in exasperation, I wish she'd stop giving out, I suddenly feel exhausted.

'Ok Steele, I'm here if you need to talk Ok? I know we haven't had a chance to talk much but I'm still here' I almost hear her reassuring smile.

'Thanks Kate, I'm going to head to bed, I'll call you tomorrow and we can set a day to catch up, I'll let you in all the gossip' I smile, she'll love that.

'Of course, I wouldn't expect anything else Ms. Steele, Goodnight Ana, and remember I'm always here' she says more forcefully.

'Goodnight Kate' I hang up the phone and lye back on the bed shutting my eyes, she really is such a good friend to me. I rise from the bed and head towards the bathroom. I wash off the little make-up I had on and take off my clothes and put one of Christians t-shirts on which I snatched before I left this morning. It really has been such a long day. I brush my teeth and hair and head back into the room. I take out my plum dress and hang it on a hanger from the hotel closet, I'm not sure if I'm provided with an iron in here. I head over to the bed and curl up under the duvets. My mind wanders to my husband wondering if he's sleeping or playing at his piano, maybe he's hawled up in his study. Just when sleep was about to fall, my phone begins to vibrate against the bedside table. I turn over and glance at the screen. Shit! It's Christian. I take a deep breath and answer.

'Hi' I say hesitantly

'Ana, what's wrong? I only just got your message, you ok?' he asks softly with worry in his voice.

'I'm fine, it's just... I presume you know why I called' I reply awaiting his. He takes what seems like hours to reply.

'Ana, I have literally no idea why you called, I hope it's because you want to come home, I can pick you up right away' he says his voice lifting. Mrs Robinson hasn't told him yet. I take another deep breath, here it goes!

'Christian, I need to tell you something and... It's bad'

**Hey guys, I got a few mixed reviews from people about the ending of the last chapter and just thought I'd clear up why I put it in. I wanted to put a light hearted moment into the story as it's been quite serious, I think we kind of forget that Ana is meant to be only twenty two and that we're all allowed go a little crazy sometimes! Anyways I hope you enjoy this chapter, please review and let me know what you guys think **


	8. Honesty

**Hey guys thanks for all the reviews! Nearly 100 now and I'm so excited! I thought I'd give you a nice chapter, but believe me, it's going to turn again Thanks again for all the support! Enjoy...**

**I do not own anything from the Fifty Shades Trilogy.**

**Fifty Shades to Forgive- Chapter 8**

There's silence on the other end of the phone, I wait and after about five minutes he simply mutters whilst taking a deep breath

'Ok'. I can't tell whether he's worried, nervous, angry or irritated. Mr Mercurial as ever, just once I wish I could know what he was thinking, it's so frustrating that he can just hide how he truly feels.

'Ana?' he prompts. I'm pulled from my thoughts, I don't want to tell him, he is going to be so mad. What if he tells me to not come home, that I've fucked up major and now he can't trust me. Ugh! Even now when I thought I had won against Elena she somehow twists it and she herself seems like the good guy, the poor victim. I'm furious with myself, I know I seriously messed up but it was just a surge of emotions when I saw her and I simply couldn't resist. I take a deep breath.

'Before I tell you Christian, you have to promise me that you'll hear me out before you jump in and start giving out to me' I hesitate, he's not going to agree to this, when has Christian Grey ever been good at taking orders? There's another stretch of silence, I just want to get this over and done with at this point. Thank god Sawyer didn't force me back to Escala, I'd seriously be getting the silent treatment or worse. The red room of pain flitters into my mind, I shiver at the thought of the belt incident.

'Ok Ana' he finally whispers, his voice sounds pained, I don't understand why though, I ignore it.

'Promise?' I whisper with a flash of nerves through my voice.

'For Fuck sake Ana I promise now tell me!' he shouted so loud I had to pull the phone away from my ear to save my hearing. Seriously? He's already mad and I'm just adding to it, well here it goes.

'I was walking home with Sawyer after I saw you tonight.. .' I hear his breath hitch in his throat but choose to ignore it. 'I just needed that silence, that time to have a serious think about everything, I couldn't help but think about how angry I was about Mrs Robinson being in our home.. Touching you like that when... I mean Christian every time something is going good for us something bad has to counteract it, I'm so sick of it always being so hard for us when all I want to do is be with you and love you but... It's difficult when people (like Mrs. Robinson) are rooting for us to fail.' I take another breath, it's going well Ana keep going keep going.

'I just wish that at some point we can just be happy and not have to worry about everything else in life and just focus on us as a unit. I don't want to lose you Christian but I was so hurt, and ,for the first time I was truly ashamed of you when you left the other night. How can I trust you when you're body and mind are always a thousand miles away, you never seem to want to talk to me and when you do I always feel it's because I've forced you and not because you want to' I think I'm rambling, I've completely gone of course, this was only meant to be about the brick through the window well now it's about everything. I can't believe he hasn't interrupted yet.

'All these thoughts kept running through my mind that after an hour Sawyer had to tell me that we were heading in the wrong direction. I just couldn't wrap my head around the fact that even in my time of need you went running to her, it's not fair that I'm the one being blamed for our baby when you had to have helped, I know it's probably because of my shot but to be quite honest Christian, I've been so wrapped up in the life of Mr. Grey how could I have possibly remembered? I'm not trying to make excuses I'm just trying to make you see my point of view. Sawyer then led us back to Seattle Park when out of nowhere I realised we were standing in front of the salon. All those thoughts just came bubbling over the top and then I saw her.' His breathing faltered again but I carried on regardless.

'When I saw her she looked... well depressed, and I couldn't help but feel good. She has caused so much damage to us that I didn't care what happened to her, I'm not that type of person Christian, I've never really hated someone until... her. My anger bottled inside just burst and I couldn't help myself, why should I always have to be the person that stands back and watches us crumble when I can fight back, so I did.' I pause and think about what I'm going to say, I need to prepare myself for the wrath of my actions.

'I picked up a brick on the side of the street and threw it through the salon window and ran' I cringe. 'I know what I did was wrong and that there are better ways of dealing with ones issues but I didn't care. For the first time in my life I felt that I had power and that no matter what happened I finally fought back and it wasn't expected. My whole life has been so predictable Christian, that is, until I met you. You bring an excitement to my life, I don't know which way you're going to turn and I hate that, but at the same time, it's thrilling. I will pay for the window of course and I will apologise to Mrs Lincoln, but for one moment I was getting the therapy that _I _needed and I'm proud of that.'

Oh god Oh god Oh god! It's out... everything that I've been feeling over the past couple of days, even months has finally been laid out in front of him to deal with, Will he be angry? Disappointed? Upset? I honestly don't know and my stomach is twisting in sharp circles due to this anxiety. He needs time to process all the information. We don't say anything for a long time, at one point I think he's passed out but his steady breathing reassures me. After nearly fifteen minutes he breaks the silence.

'What are we going to do Ana? When did we become so broken?' he whispers. My heart constricts and now I'm the one holding the silence.

'I don't know Christian' I reply.

'I'm not mad about the window, I'm actually quite proud of you for taking a stand, it's one of the reasons why I love you, you never took any shit you didn't like from me and that's why we're together today because of that and because of you. As for the rest-' he pauses but I wait patiently.

'I didn't realise that you felt that way and so strongly, I know that our life can be hard and that it takes it's tole on us, but at the end of the day Ana, I love you, and no matter what I always come home to you for support. Sometimes life deals us a shit hand of cards but as long as I have you I'll always win. I don't tell you things to protect you, I don't want my life and people in it harming you and for the better part of our relationship I tried to ignore the fact that it was Elena. But Ana you have to know that I would never choose anyone over you. I want to give you everything you want and more because I love you, it will only ever be you. A lot of the time I'm scared that when something goes wrong you're just going to up and leave, you have no idea how I felt today when I couldn't find you, all my reasoning went out the window and suddenly I stopped to think about the baby. I don't want to be a terrible father, I want to love and protect my children but I just didn't think I was ready until that thought of you, pregnant, and all alone with no one to take care of you. I want this baby Ana, I do, I just don't want to be a disappointment to the baby, or you' he pauses to take a breath. Oh Shit he's getting deep! He wants the baby, he will never be a disappointment.

'When you told me... I was shocked, it was just so... unexpected and abrupt and I didn't know how to react, the only thing I know is to be angry and to punish you and that's why I said those things and left. I should of handled it better Ana, I know I should never have gone to her, all I can say is that I'm truly sorry Ana, I really am, I love you' he takes a sigh and waits for me to reply. I can't believe this, he's finally talking to me, he always wanted this baby but didn't realise he just suddenly thought he wasn't good enough. It tears at my heart a little to think that he felt this way and I didn't know.

'I love you too, Christian' I reply my voice breaking.

'Come home... please' he pleads. My mind had already been made up, all I wanted to know was that he loved me and the baby and that he was willing to fight for us.

'I think I'm ready to, but, It's a bit late now, I'll come home after work tomorrow' I replied with a huge grin on my face. I have my husband back and I love him.

'I'll pick you up at about six thirty?' I can hear how his voice has lightened and I can sense his excitement.

'It's ok, I'll drive, I have the R8 with me and I should probably sort out the Salon window' I say hesitantly and to my amusement he bursts into laughter.

'What's so funny?' I ask, his laugh is so infectious.

'You, I'm utterly shocked that you are capable of vandalism Mrs Grey' he says through his laugh.

'I shocked myself to be honest, what else would you have expected' I ask matching his laughter.

'Well at first I thought I'd have to go and beat the shit out of a man called Ryan Thompson' he says more seriously, I can't contain my laughter.

'Trust me Mr. Grey, he was no match against you' I say with a sultry voice.

'That's good to know Mrs. Grey, now, go get some sleep, you need to have all the stamina in you for what I have planned for tomorrow night' my stomach clenches, those words send currents throughout my body.

'Oh Mr. Grey, I look forward to it indeed, goodnight'

'Goodnight Mrs Grey, and Ana, I love you baby' he whispers and I know it's the truth.

'I love you too, Night' I reply trying to stifle my yawn, I can hear his grin.

'Laters Baby' and he hangs up.


	9. Unexpected

**Hey guys I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while I've been on holidays and haven't had a chance to write until tonight! Thanks again for all the reviews and follows and all sorts. I hope you like this chapter! Enjoy... **

**I don't own anything from the Fifty Shades Trilogy **

Fifty Shades to Forgive- Chapter 9

I 'm woken by a small strip of sunlight peering through a gap in the curtain, I groan and roll over to check the alarm clock. Six thirty, Christian is awake now, probably heading into the shower, the thought of Christian naked in the shower sends messages to my libido causing me to squirm. I quickly push them to the back of my mind, I won't get through the day thinking indecent thoughts, but they're not indecent thoughts if they involve my husband I chide. Regardless, it's important for me to reign in my thoughts until I get home this evening. I lie in the bed staring at the ceiling, the excitement is bubbling through me, right now everything is perfect, I have my husband back and we're starting a family, this is every girls dream but there is something that keeps niggling at me. It's as if my mind is warning me not to be too excited as it won't last long, I should probably look up the word paranoid in the dictionary, with everything that's happened lately it's no wonder paranoia is kicking in.

When the alarm clock goes off at seven thirty I hop out of the bed and head towards the shower. I turn the shower handle and let the warm water cascade over me, it sends shivers up and down my body. I gently rub shampoo into my hair and let the water rinse it out. My mind wanders to the events of last night, god throwing that brick was really idiotic of me I shake my head in exasperation, sometimes I can really out do myself, the only good that came from it was talking to Christian after. His reaction was so... shocking, I really thought he was going to raise his anger to a new level, but he didn't, he was calm and patient, he was attentive and considerate, he was a husband. I hug myself on that thought, Mr. Christian Grey CEO feared by many is my husband. I caress my belly, I wonder how everyone is going to react to the baby news. I know that Kate is not going to be happy that I didn't tell her straight away but... I think it was the right decision to wait for Christian to come to terms to the pregnancy before blurting out to Kate who would blab to everyone. I raise my eyes to heaven with the thought of Grace and Carrick finding out that his son is expecting his first child from his brother's fiancé. I must remind myself to call my own mother and break the news to her, and Ray, I don't know how he'll react but I'm hoping it's along the lines of happy, but I'm sure I'll get some sort of lecture on how it's very soon into our marriage and how I rush into things.

I'm snapped out of my own world by the shrill ringing of my cell phone, maybe it's Christian, I quickly hop out of the shower and wrap the nearest towel around me, why are hotel towels always too small? I race into the bedroom and grab my cell, I glance at the screen and disappointment flights through me when 'SIP' appears flashing. I sigh and answer.

'Hello' I say

'Hi Ana, I was just wondering if you were coming into the office today' asks Hannah with her dutiful tone, I glance at the clock and its ten minutes to eight.

'Hi Hannah, yes I'll be coming in today, I'll be in at nine' I reply, why is she calling me? She never usually does this if I miss a morning due to 'illness'.

'Ok great! It's just I've just come in and checked through your messages and there's a call from the police station saying they want to speak with you' she replies hesitantly. SHIT the window!... she really is a bitch for ratting me out to the police, it's not as if my husband doesn't own your fucking salon! I'm shocked over that reaction, god what is getting into me? I'm never normally so... vicious, it must be the hormones.

'Oh ok, thanks Hannah I'll call them when I get in' I reply, I'm going to have to tell Christian.

'I just wanted to warn you before you came in just in case you wanted to handle it rather than come into work' she really is such a good assistant.

'Thanks Hannah, I'll see you at nine, is there anything else?' I ask hoping to god there isin't.

'No that's the important stuff, you just have another message from a man called Mr. Lincoln? In the message he says he'd like to meet with you' she says.

_Holy Fuck!_ Elena's husband? Or Ex- husband? What could he possibly want? I'm so confused at this moment, I'm hardly going to go and meet with this man, first of all Christian will go mental and second of all... I've always thought when Christian mentioned him that he was a little, well, scary. He found out that Mrs. Robinson was screwing around with a school boy and beat the shit out of her. Even though that woman repulses me, I would never wish that upon her or anyone, but what does he want? What could he need from me?

'Thanks Hannah, I'll return them when I come in, bye' I hang up. Even though he sounds like a terrible man the thought of meeting with him is intriguing, Christian is going to blow a fuse when I tell him. I should really call and let him know now but I just want to hold onto us finally getting along for a little while longer. I pull out my grey chiffon blouse and grey fitted skirt from my bag and proceed to get dressed, I'll email Christian from work. Five minutes with Mr. Lincoln wouldn't hurt would it? I don't know why I ask myself these questions when I know I've already made up my mind. Maybe I shouldn't see him if it means it's going to cause trouble with me and Christian though. I've finally gotten him back, do I want to lose him again? The thought of losing Christian because I met with Mr. Lincoln is frightening... it's not worth it.

As I enter the lobby of the hotel I spot Sawyer, he's sitting in a chair right by the front door eyeing everyone entering and leaving, and I thought I was paranoid? I laugh at him a little, ever since he told me about his fiancé and baby I feel a bit more comfortable with him. All these security staff know every detail of me and Christian's life together, they pretty much hear every conversation we have and yet I know nothing about them, it seems weird in a way and slightly embarrassing, that's why when Sawyer told me his story, it was comforting to hear that he too has had issues.

Sawyer looks up at me and stands quickly, I must tell Christian that he has to let his employees sleep now and again, Sawyer looks exhausted.

'Mrs. Grey' Sawyer says and gives me a curt nod.

'Sawyer' I return his nod. 'I'm just going to head to work now' I say.

'I'll get the car Ma'am, Taylor delivered it this morning' I'm sure Sawyer got an earful from him as well as Christian last night, I cringe at the thought, it was my fault.

'I didn't mean to get you into trouble Sawyer, I'm sorry' I say looking up at him. His cheeks redden and he shifts uncomfortably, clearly he's still not comfortable with me or maybe he feels he can't be. I understand why of course he has to remain 'professional' but if he's going to be around me 24/7 he might want to warm up to me a little.

'No need to apologise Mrs. Grey, I'm a grown man, I can take care of myself' he says with a slight grin. I couldn't exactly picture Sawyer standing up to Taylor, Taylor is scary, maybe I should give Sawyer some credit, Christian wouldn't have hired him if he wasn't up to scratch I suppose. I return his smile and blush a little.

'I'll go get the car Ma'am' he says and he's already gone before I attempt to agree. My mind travels to the issue at hand, how am I going to tell Christian about Mr. Lincoln and the cops? I decided I'm not going to see Mr. Lincoln, I'm not even going to return his message, is it really necessary to tell Christian then? If I tell him he'll just get angry and call _her _or Mr. Lincoln himself and that's not a good idea. If I make it an issue it will become one, the best thing to do is ignore it.

When Sawyer pulls up to the door I hop into the Audi and sink into the backseat. I'm suddenly tired again, it's not even midday and I'm stressed, my poor little blip is probably suffering because of this. I rest my head against the headrest and slide my hand across my flat stomach rubbing it gently, I just hope everything works out and that Christian hasn't freakishly changed his mind all of a sudden. My stomach jumps into my throat at that thought, I scurry through my bag looking for my blackberry, he hasn't contacted me yet this morning, maybe he _has_ changed his mind. I find the blackberry at the end of the bag (of course whenever you need it it's so hard to find) I quickly unlock it and notice I have an e-mail from him, I open it cautiously.

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject**: Good Morning

**To:** Anastasia Grey

My Dearest Wife,

Good morning baby,

I hope you slept well you'll need all your energy for what I have planned later ;)

I love you.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

I let out a sigh of relief and then all those indecent thoughts fill my head once again. I should really give Christian the benefit of the doubt, I feel bad just jumping to the conclusion that he had changed his mind.

When I enter work I'm greeted by Claire who informed me that she had drinks with a very handsome Australian man last night. Apparently he's from Melbourne and has asked her out again, I love Claire and her gossip, it puts a smile on my face. As I enter my office Hannah is there with my coffee and hands me a few manuscripts and informs me that Elizabeth would like to see me later today, I think Hannah notices my distaste on meeting with her, it's always awkward between us. She starts to laugh and I smile sheepishly at her. I sit down behind my desk and cautiously press play on the answering machine. The first message was at two thirty last night from the chief at the police station saying that he would like to speak to me about a 'certain matter' and that it's important that I call him back. I roll my eyes and write down in my diary to call them later before I leave work. The next message is delivered by a slight southern accent, his voice is very firm and strong.

_Mrs. Grey my name is Mr. Lincoln I believe you know my ex-wife Elena_

_I was calling to see if you would be able to meet with me today at some_

_Point to discuss a few things. I will be at my office all morning, I await your_

_reply Mrs. Grey._

His message makes me shiver for some reason, even over the phone he makes me uncomfortable, I'm definitely not meeting with him now. Right now I want to hear Christian, I think it's best that I do actually tell Christian he'll know what to do or he'll just say 'I'll sort it' which would be typical Christian. I pick up my blackberry and hit dial.

'Hello, Mr Grey's phone' a high pitched woman's voice answers after four long rings.

'Hi, Can I speak to Christian please, it's Ana' I reply just as chirpy.

'I'm sorry Mrs. Grey Mr. Grey is in a meeting at the moment and has asked to not be disturbed, I'll let him know you called' I sigh, sometimes I forget he's a multimillion CEO.

'Ok Thanks Andrea' I reply and hang up.

After looking through the manuscripts Hannah gave me and meeting with Elizabeth who was just curious as to why I was 'sick' yesterday. Obviously the office gossip from yesterday still hasn't been forgotten. I check my blackberry and its one thirty and there's still no word from Christian, I considered sending him an email but then remember he wouldn't get that either, Andrea has his blackberry. After lunch I tell myself that if he hasn't called by three I'll call again. I launch myself into replying to e-mails when my office phone rings startling me.

'Hello, Anastasia Grey' I say curiously, its odd too have this phone ring.

'Hi Ana, it's Claire, there's a man here in reception for you' my heart leaps, maybe Christian is playing some sort of game with me.

'Who is it Claire?' I ask with a grin on my face. I hear some hushed whispers and my brow furrows, she wouldn't have to ask if it was Christian.

'His name is Mr. Lincoln Ana' she replies.

_Holy Fuck!_


	10. Missing

**Hey guys thanks once again for all the support! I thought I'd do something a little different which is why I brought Linc into it. I hope you like it, i'm pretty unsure about it so please let me know! Anyways Enjoy...**

**I don't own anything from the fifty shades trilogy.**

**Fifty Shades to Forgive- Chapter 10**

Oh. My. God Christian is going to freak, I can't exactly avoid this man now that he's in reception. What am I going to do? I can't believe he came to my office, it's only been a couple of hours since I got his message, for all he knows I could be in a meeting, talk about impatience.

'Ana?' Claire prompts still on the other line. My heart is pounding in my chest, Sawyer must be around why hasn't he come in? I can tell that if I meet with Mr. Lincoln Christian will be pissed and it'll be another thousand steps backwards than forwards, why does life have to be so complicated.

'Claire, can you tell him that'll he'll have to wait a couple of minutes I'm just sorting through some stuff and then I'll be free' I say whilst listening to her repeat it to him.

'Ok Ana, bye' she hangs up. I get to my feet and start to pace the room, the whole point of me not returning the message this morning was for him to get the hint that I don't want to see him, but clearly he's insisting. I fish out my blackberry from my bag and there's still no response from Christian, this meeting must be fairly important to be going on this long, it must be about the Taiwan deal. I don't want to interrupt him but I have no choice. I press call and cross my fingers.

'Hello, Christian Grey's phone' Andrea picks up on the third ring, I let out a sigh in frustration, why can't he just turn his phone on fucking vibrate when he's in a meeting rather than give it to his PA.

'Hi Andrea, it's Ana again, is Christian finished his meeting yet? I have to speak with him right away it's very important' I say my voice shaking a little, I don't want to meet with this man if it means that Christian will be angry. If he'd have just picked up his own damn phone though we wouldn't be having this discussion.

'Sorry Ana, he's finished his meeting but has left with the gentlemen for lunch, he forgot to take his blackberry with him, I didn't get a chance to tell him that you called before he left' she says hesitantly as if I'm going to fire her or something. So it doesn't look like my knight in shining armour will be making an appearance today, typical, of course, when I want him to be here he's busy. I know that if he had picked up his cell he would already be in his car over here but now it seems that I'm going to have to do this alone for once, I take a deep breath.

'Andrea, could you look through Christian's phone and see if you can find a number for Sawyer?' I ask.

'Of Course Mrs. Grey, his number is on speed dial' she replies than calls out his number, I pull my black pen from my hair pulling a few strands with it and scribble down his number.

'Thanks Andrea'

'Have a nice day Mrs. Grey, I'll let Mr. Grey know you called as soon as he comes in' she replies before hanging up. A lot of great that will do me, by the time Christian is back I'm sure I'll have Mrs Bitch trolls ex- husband sitting in front of me and then have to deal with the wrath of my unbearable control freak husband.

I type Sawyers number into my phone and press dial, he answers immediately.

'Mrs Grey?' He asks a little confused as to why I'm calling him.

'Sawyer Hi, I was wondering if you could come up to my office now, there's a man here to see me that I'm not that comfortable seeing alone' I ask waiting patiently for his reply.

'Of course ma'am' he says and hangs up.

I continue to pace up and down my small but comfortable office, my heart is picking up its pace and the back of my neck is starting to feel a little damp with perspiration. Why am I so nervous to see this man? I then realise that it's not the man I'm worried about its Christians reaction, I'm sure I'll get the blame somehow. I know I threw a brick through his ex-wife's salon window but he hates Elena, why would he be here to give out? Maybe he's here to thank me... I highly doubt that for some reason, as much as I like to think that luck is on my side it hardly ever is. I'm still pacing my office when I hear a knock at the door followed by Sawyer entering.

'Mrs. Grey, the man downstairs isn't on your proscribed list but I will make him leave if you are more comfortable' he replies curiously.

'Sawyer, that man is Elena Lincolns ex- husband and him and Christian are not the best of friends, actually in fact I can pretty much predict that Mr. Lincoln would happily kick the shit out of Christian if he had the opportunity. He's obviously here over the broken window last night but to be honest Sawyer the sound of this man kind of frightens me and I'd like it if you could be in the room while he's here?' I hurriedly reply.

'Of course ma'am' he says hesitating for a moment, I'm growing impatient.

'What is it?' I snap as he flushes a light pink.

'I'm going to have to let Mr Grey know about this' he says

'Be my guest, I've been trying to call him but all I'm getting is his fucking PA' I nearly shout, I can sense that Sawyer is uncomfortable.

'Sorry' I mutter quietly taking in a deep breath, I'm just anxious as to how Christian is going to feel after he finds out. I tried calling him though... twice, he has no right to be mad at me, it's his fault for not picking up his phone, I can't even send him an e-mail because he hasn't got his blackberry. It's not as if I didn't try to get in contact with him, I even have Sawyer here with me, if he's going to be angry with me he's going to have a bigger fight on his hand than he thought.

'I'll call Taylor' Sawyer replies pulling his phone from his pocket and then leaves the room.

He comes back in after 2 minutes, I turn to him expectantly.

'Taylor has gone to find Mr. Grey' he says whilst taking a gulp. For some reason I think Mr. Lincoln was meant to be on the proscribed list but clearly has been forgotten about. I pick up my office phone and call down to reception, it's now or never I suppose.

'Hi Claire, Mr Lincoln can come in now' I say my voice faltering slightly.

'Ok Ana' Claire hangs up. I hurry over to my desk and sit down, I just hope this is quick and that he's not as vicious as Christian had explained. My stomach is in my throat, I need to calm down and act contrite and sophisticated. I hear a knock at the door.

'Come in' I say gently. Hannah enters the room followed by a man who is dressed in a dark navy suit with a light blue tie to match his piercing eyes. I have to hand it to Elena... she picks her men well. The man walks towards my desk eyeing me warily, his hair has greyed considerably but even so he is quite attractive, just not as much as Christian. I stand when he reaches the edge of my desk and place my hand out to shake his.

'Mrs Grey' he purrs, god he makes me very uncomfortable. I glance over at Hannah who is still hovering at the door and nod, she leaves closing the door behind her. Sawyer moves to behind my desk so he's facing Mr. Lincoln.

'Mr. Lincoln' I nod whilst taking a seat once again indicating for him to take one also.

'Please call me Linc,' he replies whilst taking one of the vacant chairs, his lips twitch in a smile revealing his pearl white teeth. I shift in my chair feeling weary under his gaze.

'I didn't realise we would have company' he raises his chin at Sawyer, I grin, I'm glad he's here now, I keep his gaze not being distracted from the matter at hand.

'Yes well, you can understand as to why, Mr Lincoln' I reply with coldness itching from my voice. He smiles a full grinned smile.

'Please Ana, call me Linc, I can sense that we have a lot more in common than you think, or, that you are made to think' he says. I can only hope that we have nothing in common, the thought of being somewhat alike to a man who has beaten a woman is nauseating, oh, I suppose Christian has done that before, I cringe, It's not the same. Curiosity is getting the better of me, I want to know why he's here and what he wants.

'And why would you think that Mr Lincoln?' I ask. He raises his eyes to heaven at his name.

'Well Ana, we have both been in relationships where we have been disappointed and hurt by the other, what you did to my ex- wife's window last night proves it' he replies, his hand is caressing his stubble on his chin while the other is laying effortlessly on the armchair. So, Elena has gone and told her ex- husband about last night. Maybe she sent him to teach me a lesson like he did to her, I push that thought to the back of my mind, so far all he has done is have a conversation.

'I'm happily married Mr. Lincoln, last night was... a glitch caused by your ex- wife meddling in my relationship with my husband' I say my voice is like ice now, I'm not holding back.

'It's quite interesting to see the woman who has tamed _the _Christian Grey, I imagined you... somewhat different if I'm being honest, I'm not saying that you aren't attractive Ana, I just would have thought he would go for someone a little less ordinary, someone like Elena' he says. His words sting and I can hear Sawyer behind me shift so he is more alert to the conversation. Does this man not realise that throughout my whole marriage I have been thinking the exact same thing, no one needs to remind me that Christian would be more suited to someone with the wealth and looks, I feel the urge to cry all my insecurities are resurfacing. No, I can't cry, it would satisfy him and his bitch ex- wife too much, I grin slyly at him.

'Yes you would think that Mr. Lincoln, yet here I am' I take a deep breath.

' It's interesting also to see the man who couldn't keep his wife fully... satisfied, so much so that she had to run to a fifteen year old to fulfil what you couldn't. It must sting a little surely to know that a teenage boy could do a better job than you' I say cocking my head to the side giving the face that I often see on Christian. He holds his hands in the air in defeat and starts to laugh.

'Your quite feisty aren't you, well Ana, the reason I'm here is to warn your husband about something. I was going to go to him myself but after receiving a hysterical drunk call from the bitch I call my former wife I thought this would be a better way to inform your husband that I haven't finished with him quite so soon, he'll know what I mean when it happens' he says wearing a large triumphant smile. What the fuck? He's here to threaten Christian? He was right about one thing, when Christian finds out he came to me to threaten him... he'll kill him. I can feel myself starting to shake, what is he planning? What if he hurts Christian? The anger is building within my veins, Sawyer is behind me, I didn't even hear his cell ring, he's whispering down the receiver, it's probably Christian. I turn back to Mr. Lincoln and he's gazing at me his lips twitching up at the side.

'So you came here uninvited to my office to threaten my husband?' I scoff with irritation.

'I have to hand it to you Mr. Lincoln you have some balls coming here, if I'm not correct, my husband has connections in your businesses and can cause more harm than good when it comes to your career let alone your finances' his eyes flicker to mine, he didn't think I knew about that, HA! I only ever heard him discuss it with Mrs. Robinson over the phone once late at night.

'Mrs Grey, I think you have this situation all wrong, I've come here to warn your husband and you Ana that something bad may come about soon, I'm doing you both a favour here, I could have left you both in the dark and let shit hit the fan all on its own unbeknownst to either of you, now at least you will be more careful' he winks at me and smiles once again.

'What is that supposed to mean' I snap at him.

'Well Mrs Grey, let's just say I was quite happy letting Christian prance around the world as if he owns it until I heard from Elena last night. Hearing from her made me... angry and because of that I thought why not now? Throwing that brick was a big mistake Ana, for both of you' he says. His eyes are boring into mine we sit in silence for some time, just staring venomously at each other.

After what feels like hours, Mr Lincoln breaks the ice raising to his feet and heading towards the door.

'It was nice talking to you, Mrs Grey. We should do this again sometime' he says whilst opening the door. Once he is out the door he turns to me once again

'Oh, and Ana, best of luck' he says with a wink and then he's gone.

What the fuck was that? I'm dumbfounded, what has he planned? Will he harm any of us? He and Mrs Robinson deserved each other, they're both as malicious as the other. I turn to Sawyer who is still standing behind me, he looks at me with concerned look.

'Don't worry Mrs. Grey I have informed the security staff to be more vigilant, I'm sure he's just bluffing but we won't take the chance' he says, I'm not sure whether he was reassuring me or more so himself. I stand up, I need some air, my legs feel like complete jelly I can feel all the blood being drained from my body, my vision is becoming blurry and I can hang on no longer. I drop to the floor.


	11. Decisions

**Hey guys sorry for the delay! Just to let you know the next chapter may take a little while to put up, I'm just real busy with work at the moment and can't find enough time to write :/ Sorry! I'll try my best though, so enjoy...**

**I don't own anything from the Fifty Shades Trilogy.**

**Fifty Shades to Forgive- Chapter 11**

I feel very fuzzy, breathing is becoming somewhat difficult with the piercing pain in my side every time I try to take a breath. All I remember is seeing Sawyer and then see him running towards me, I could feel the hard floor against my body before I could even register that I was falling. The last couple of days have been complete emotional over load, what happens if something terrible is about to happen, after receiving the not so subtle threat from Mr. Lincoln my body just gave out and collapsed. Ugh, my head is pounding and my limbs are tingling I must have hit my head on the way down, I want Christian. Where was he? I thought he would come barrelling through the door like during the Leila incident but there was no sign of him, that's very unlike the fifty I know. What if something has happened to him? My heart starts to race, oh no! Maybe that's why he didn't come to the rescue this time. Stop Ana! Don't think like that, he's fine! I need to wake up but all I see is darkness, I've never fainted before, it's a weird feeling and not one I'd like to repeat anytime soon. I try to move but I can't lift anything, I don't even have the strength to open my eyelids. The pain in my head is getting worse and my ears are beginning to ring, the pain is excruciating I want to curl up in my own bed against Christians chest, I feel like I want to burst into tears, I can hold on no longer, I need to sleep, I'm so tired, my little blip my Christian, that's all I want. I'm falling deeper and deeper until I succumb to the blackness as it engulfs me.

When I wake again I feel very warm, I can feel the beads of sweat on my brow, there is a flurry of commotion around the office. There are people surrounding me, I can feel they're gaze. How long have I been unconscious for? My head is easing up a little and my ears have stopped ringing. I can hear mumbling in the background.

'What happened?' a man asked impatiently, I don't recognize his voice, it sounds quite familiar but I can't pin point from where, it's not anyone from the office and it definitely wasn't Christian, I know his voice anywhere. Trying to think is a task, I just want to go home. As I take in the feeling of my limbs I realise that there are two hands on my cheeks and my head is propped up on something hard. Could they not have gotten a cushion or something?

'She fainted, I tried to catch her before she hit the floor but I was too late and hit her head off the side of the desk' replied Sawyer, he sounds as if he's kneeling beside me his voice dripping with concern. I'm pretty much fine besides the headache and the stabbing in my ribs when I take deep breaths, I must have winded myself when I fell, ugh, sometimes I amaze myself at how dramatic I can be. Fainting? Really? Right now I can see how Christian is so obsessed with my safety, but I won't admit that to him of course any excuse would send him off the deep end and I would have six security guards just to follow me to the toilet.

'We need to get her to the hospital, this could have done damage to the baby' Sawyer whispers sadly.

Oh no! Not lil Blip! it's so early on that something like this could in fact hurt him or her. I want to cry, the thought of losing our baby is torturing, I can feel my pulse quickening and the tightness in my ribs increasing as my breathing accelerates. I have to go to the hospital, Lil blip has to be ok, I can't lose my baby. My mother had lost a baby while she was married to Ray I knew it's what tore them apart but neither would admit it, so neither did I. What if I lose this baby and Christian hates me, I couldn't live without him as well as my unborn child the tears are brimming beneath my eyelids. If I lose this baby I would never forgive myself, it would kill me. What if I become like Mom and end up resenting Christian for not wanting it in the first place? I can't lose this baby, I can't!

I open my eyes and snap them shut straight away, the overwhelming light stings my eyes and sends a dart of over shadowing pain to my head, I groan.

'Mrs Grey?' I hear Sawyer say with a sigh of relief. I glance up at him, my eyes are finally beginning to adjust to the light that is peering in my office window. I glance in front of me and see that Claire and Hannah are at my feet, Jerry Roach is pacing in front of me probably worried that I'll sue or something, forgetting the fact that if I do sue I'll be suing my husband. I can see Hannah is smiling and Claire looks as relieved as Sawyer did. I look back up at Sawyer.

'Where's Christian? He should be here by now.' I say huskily, I could do with a glass of water right about now. Obviously noticing the rasp in my voice or just reading my mind Hannah grabs the bottle of water from my purse and holds it out to a person that is behind me. Suddenly the warmness from my cheeks disappear, whoever was behind me had removed their hands to take the bottle from Hannah. I glance up and see that a pair of steal eyes are locked on mine, he looks familiar, I look at his face again and then his hair, his blonde hair with spikes gelled to perfection - Oh _fuck_! It's Ryan Thompson!

What the hell was he doing here? Oh my god, Christian is _seriously _going to FREAK! I even mentioned Ryan's name with Christian, oh shit I basically told him this man came on to me! This is not going to end up good, I should just go back to sleep. No! Lil Blip! I whip my head around to Sawyer realising that my head was resting on Ryan's lap. Seriously what is he doing here?

'I need to go see Dr. Greene, now!' I say trying to scramble to my feet.

'Slowly!' I hear Ryan say, his voice full of concern, he was right of course, as I reached a full vertical position all the blood rushed from my brain and the room started to spin, I could feel myself once again drifting backwards towards the floor but Ryan caught me in time before I managed to do more damage

'I'm fine' I say trying to reassure myself. Ryan once again helps me to my feet as I try to steady myself. Sawyer takes hold of my arm and directs me to the door.

'I'll have to go and get the car ma'am' explains Sawyer.

'That'll take too long, my car is parked outside the building' Insists Ryan. What is he doing here? He just seemed to pop out of nowhere.

'I don't think that's a good idea' I say finding my voice again.

'Don't be stubborn Ana' he says irritated. I know the man is helping me but if Christian finds out that this strange guy brought me to the hospital... he'll go insane and who'll get given out too? Me. I look to Sawyer pleading with him, he knows what Christian is like.

'Ma'am, it's not against protocol if it means your safety, it'll take too long to get the car and it's not just you anymore' he replies and takes a glance at my flat stomach, little blip. If it means saving my baby I'd get a lift with Mrs Robinson for Christ sake! I give a curt nod to Sawyer letting him know that I'm uncomfortable.

When we reach Ryan's car I hop in the backseat and let Sawyer take the front seat beside Ryan. I rest my head on the headrest. Where is Christian? Was he lying before? Maybe he doesn't want the baby. My anger starts to rise, where the fuck was he? Maybe he doesn't love me anymore, maybe he doesn't care. Tears start to accumulate in my eyes, why can't he just love us.

'Are you alright Ana?' Ryan's voice startled me, I hadn't realised I closed my eyes. When I open them I can see him through the front mirror looking back at me.

'I'm fine thanks, what were you doing at my office?' I ask

'I'm Jerry Roach's lawyer, I had a meeting with him this afternoon, he mentioned your name and when I was leaving I thought I'd drop in and say hello, little did I know it was you that would be doing the dropping' he says a little sarcastically.

'Oh... well thanks for taking me' I say, never did I think that he'd be here in time of need rather than Christian... my husband.

'No problem, I didn't realise it was Christian Grey that was your husband, I would never have...' he says shifting uncomfortably in his seat. Not another person afraid of Christian Grey! Ryan looks at me again and I give him a reassuring smile.

'Don't worry about it, I think you've redeemed yourself now anyways' I reply, he gives a heartfelt laugh and concentrates on the road once again when Sawyer directs him to take a left turn.

My mind goes back to my baby, right now it feels as if it's just little blip and me, if there is something wrong I will never forgive myself. I can't live without it, if Christian doesn't want this baby, well, then he'll have to learn to be alone again. It pains me to think this way but what other choice do I have? He has shown me that he doesn't want this part of his life to begin yet, either he'll have to get a kick start or he'll have to go, this baby is going nowhere, I just hope its ok and I hope Christian makes the right decision.

The car stops and we're at the door of Dr. Greene's private practice, I jump out of the car and head towards reception, Sawyer is beside me when I give my name to the receptionist and state that it's an emergency. The receptionist asks us to take a seat for a few minutes while she goes and consults with the doctor. I can't be more anxious right at this moment, I just want us to be ok, why is there always something to worry about in our lives. After a awhile Ryan walks into reception and joins us taking a seat next to me.

'You don't have to stay' I say

'I'd like to make sure everything is ok before I bolt for the hills away from your husband' he says with a wry grin on his face. I give a returning smile, maybe I misjudged him before. I'm snapped out of my daydream to the sound of 'Your Love is King' coming from my pocket. So now he decides to call, ugh, I'm so mad right now I want to scream. I just want to know if everything is alright with my baby. I take the phone out of my jacket pocket and cancel the call. Two can play at that game. I glance up at Sawyer who is trying to act ignorant to what I have just done. I really just don't care right at this moment, I don't care how he'll react or what he'd do to me in the red room of pain, all I care about is the safety of my unborn child. After a few minutes the receptionist came and told us Dr. Greene would be free in ten minutes, I then suddenly felt Ryan stiffen beside me I glance up at him and follow his gaze over to the front door. Christian has arrived.


End file.
